Some would say that life is rather hard as it is, but it can get tremendously harder when you have to go through a recovery time after a few failed dates. Dating has become such a complicated phenomenon. Many people opt to do it online, through dating apps, and they usually look for some kind of instant gratification. The problem arises when they don’t get what they’re looking for or when their in-person date fails miserably. This might look like an insignificant thing, as some would say that there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but long-term exposure to failure can lead to traumatic experiences. Let’s try to get to the bottom of the problem.
Online dating can be quite handy depending on the user, but it can also come with more faults and problems than benefits sometimes. We can easily “eliminate” some profiles based on our preferences, but other people can “eliminate” us for the same reason as well. When someone ignores our messages or doesn’t reply to them, it will certainly affect our state of mind. Even worse, when someone ghosts us after building some sort of a relationship during a period of time, it hits us hard and causes serious emotional distress. Even though we don’t come into physical contact with those people, those things can count as failed dating and they leave a mark on our self-confidence. A rejection that occurs in in-person dating can affect people even more and cause them to feel depressed or emotionally paralyzed.
It’s a natural thing to start questioning ourselves after a few failed dates and feeling insecure. The worst thing that we can do to ourselves after a failed dating attempt is to question our self-worth. When a relationship doesn’t go the way we wanted it to go or when someone leaves us, it doesn’t mean that it has to do anything with us “not being enough”. When the voice of “never enough” starts echoing in our heads, we succumb to our desires and let ourselves enjoy a moment of pleasure, which later usually haunts us. At times like these, we can turn to services that are offered at places such as Mayfair Confidential and work on our insecurities step by step. We can gradually improve ourselves and get ready for a new love adventure with more confidence than ever.
People desire validation, acceptance and encouragement every single day, be it a part of their professional or love lives. That’s why the aftertaste of a failed date screams “not accepted” and imagine what happens when we have to go through that more than once. People start feeling alone, as they don’t get that validation they’re looking for. Women will talk about their problems with their friends or families, but men aren’t as likely to confide in someone other than their partners. When the one person we used to confide in gets taken away, we can’t help but feel alone and helpless. This feeling of loneliness and alienation can make a person turn to drugs or alcohol, which can cause many severe problems.
A breakup can disorient our sense of self and affect our sense of identity. This can be especially tough for someone who defines themselves as part of a pair. It can be quite traumatizing when we can’t find our “other half” and we can’t find that sense of feeling complete and fulfilled no matter what we do. If we don’t manage to locate that feeling of self-growth, it may hinder our career, school performance and our relationships with friends and families. If that self-growth is a way to a happy life, then we can’t let ourselves find our identity only when we’re in a relationship. The end of a relationship can shrink what we call our identities and that’s when we start feeling lost and anxious about life and our goals.
Restoring our state of mind to how it used to be before dating can be a daunting task. Dating can certainly expand our self-identities but it might also take away more than it actually gave us. Self-concepts can be restored by engaging in those activities that we enjoyed doing earlier, trying new hobbies or finding new challenges in life. Glooming over something won’t do us any good. Neither will over-thinking and over-analyzing ourselves and trying to find faults in what we did or didn’t do. Learn to embrace life and happiness for what they are, don’t doubt your self-esteem and stay true to yourself.